Raising Givers and Receivers: Parenting in a New ParadigmWritten by Shannon Yrizarry
What is it that influences the way we raise our children the most?
We look to our friends, parenting magazines and how our own parents raised us. There are many blogs about parenting and classes as well. We want to bring up something that goes deeper than some of the more common decisions we make when parenting. Every parent will decide where to send their kid to school and what type of food is best for the child, but we want to talk about teaching our children emotional skills that will empower them to live a truly happy life.
When we teach our children how to share positive energy and find the silver lining in situations, it’s essentially giving them the ability to be the source of their own happiness. This could be as simple as being content when they are picked last for the soccer team or not letting their status as team captain go to their heads.
When we raise our children to think of others before themselves, we are giving them a powerful secret. Giving love is something we can do no matter what and it always adds joy to our lives. When we teach our children to be kind and share positive energy, we are giving them the opportunity to have a truly empowered existence. Then even when they go through setbacks like a breakup or being made fun of, they will have a heightened perspective that doesn’t get caught up in pettiness. They will be able to stay calm and roll with the punches. They will have control over anxiety and negative thinking and they will attract positive kind people who can become life long friends.
When we give our children the opportunity to be a gift to everyone they meet by sharing love with them, we give them an invaluable life skill. By teaching them to be compassionate and positive, our munchkins will be a beam of bright light wherever they go. When we teach them how to be caring and not take things personal, they will be peaceful in their interactions with other children instead of argumentative.
Our children learn how to interact by what they see at home. If we create a peaceful, uplifting and consistent home environment, they will mirror our actions. By leading an example of peaceful communication and showing them how to think of others first, we will raise children who are not takers but givers. By showing them how to think and speak kindly of themselves, we are teaching them self love.
Just think if we talk bad about our neighbors or boss, they will only replicate our actions. Speaking negatively of others only generates negative energy and leads an example of being an energy drain to those around you. If we as parents make it a rule to only speak kindly of others, our children will know how good this makes them feel and duplicate our behaviors. As parents we have the ability to create a new paradigm of emotionally intelligent children that can help to heal our communities and make positive compassionate decisions with their career choices. Because like attracts like, kind children will attract similar friends and create social trends of children who love to give.
But how do we teach our children to be givers if we weren’t raised this way?
1st: We can be very careful with our words and as mentioned, only speak positively.
2nd: We can teach them how we live with intention and teach them experientially.
When we give our children positive emotional experiences linked to giving, it will teach them to enjoy giving more than taking. Inevitably, we are giving them the ability to always be happy since we can always find someone to show compassion or love. If we teach them to be competitive and try to get ahead of everyone else, we are truly setting them up for disappointment and teaching them to have an insatiable desire, where happiness is always some time in the future.
Let’s help our culture evolve by giving our children a higher calling than the typical American dream. If we redefine what we call success and wealth in their minds, their actions will be pointed in a direction that can heal our world. If we teach them that success is being loving and helping others and wealth is a deep happiness not attached to material possessions but linked to our ability to give love, we will save them from the pitfalls of getting caught up in the rat race.
It is also helpful to teach our children how to receive. When we teach ourselves how to receive without guilt, we can then lead an example. This can be receiving a compliment, being willing to ask for help when we need it or knowing what we deserve. When we teach our children to have a strong yet humble self worth, they can allow others to give freely. It is just as important to shape their ability to receive as it is to give. When we teach others to fully acknowledge another person’s efforts and thank them, they will complete the circle of the energetic exchange that we here at Give Love are promoting as a new paradigm.